PROFESSIONALISM.....

With the Christmas Party looming... and no I’m not going for several reasons:

1)      With the new company anti binge drinking policy’s they are not providing any alcohol... Seriously?! Is there ANY other reason to go to a work Christmas party??!!

2)      Who wants to socialise with people they work with?

3)      The last outing was disastrous and I am still actively living the life of a hermit...

4)      And finally..... who wants to socialise with people they work with!?

So... as I was saying with the DULL Christmas Party looming, spirits are high in the office with the exception of McSchmazel, who has recently decided to leave the orgnaisation to pursue bigger and better things... oh and to get away from the TOENAIL (thus named because she is so far up the boss’s arse it’s all you can see of her)

McSchmazel this morning finally decided that she’d had enough of toenails toenail always pointing at her, resulting in her having an adult conversation with the boss man about the injustices in the world and how to improve the work environment for future employees... ok so that’s not exactly how it panned out :S

Beginning with a relatively innocent comment of “everything alright??”

“No!! no actually it’s noT!”

The poor bloke seriously had NO idea what he was letting himself in for:

Screaming, spitting and crying with a healthy mixture of snot she ranted on and on at an incredibly shocked Boss!!! “Fcuking Promoted!!?? SHE thinks she will get promoted before me?! Her head is SO FAR up his fcuking arse she probably will be just because she won’t actually be able to extract herself from him to NOT go to meetings” and as the hysterics and emotions escalate: “and I doubt very much I’ll be able to go to the Christmas party because with a few drinks under my belt I’m likely to punch her fcuking head in!!!” *Sniff* as the rant continues without a breath being drawn “and I’ve been told I’m not too upset her!??! Upset HER!! I’ll not upset her, I’ll bloody KILL HER!”

Silence in the rest of the office, because meeting room walls aren’t exactly scream proof...

I’m thinking that she’s likely to get a very good reference to ensure that she actually leaves the organisation.

Battersea Hound and more

Having eaten another pair of shoes in the night, he refused to take a dump this morning... perhaps stilletoes don't come out as well as they go down!?

Expecting this to be delicately deposited on my lounge carpet when I get home from work. Oh Joy.


The "Darling Neighbours" have decided that as this clearly isn't a darling area they are going to up and move. joy for us as parking wars will be seriously reduced.

Why is it that they always build newer houses with 1 car parking space when the average household has 3 cars!? don't they read those ridiculous polls they make us fill out every year?! May as well be doing it on Facebook... and yes my religion is still Jedi.
- Further waste of my precious time. Every second I spend doing that I lose a little bit more of myself!

Meanwhile the Vaccume packed pork hock's sausage continues to park behind my car. I'm far too stubborn to put a note on his car so I'm going to quietly seethe with anger about his imminent demise as I stab him in the neck with a hoof pick.

N.B in the absence of a hair tag I have tied my hair back in a knot.

- Pint required tonight.

Termites

Personally, I think a lot of society can be considered termites or leaches. But thats just me!!

I've had an interesting few weeks mingling in society and I thouhgt I'd share it before I once again duck out and become a hermit.

So my first actual night out in town in about a year resulted in my phone getting stolen... seriously unimpressed... and it got progressively worse from there as the only phone I could borrow is bright Pink and it has BUTTONS!!!! What on EARTH are you meant to do with buttons!? so confused that text messages take hours and I forgot what I wrote so have to MANUALLY scroll back through about a million text messages to find what I was talking about... yes I am getting older and more and more like my mother as week speak!

"ooo you couldn't just put that milk away in the dishwasher could you?"

Clearly demented.

The day after my Boyfriend dumps me by TEXT... no I did not recieve this strangely do to me lack of phone or sim card, so I find this out a few days later when the new sim finally turned up. Nothing like a delayed reaction. He must have wondered why I was still being nice to him.

*Little Trout moves out to follow her dreams of a lavish london life style*

THEN to top it all off I was burgled. My nice quiet house, with a USELESS battersea hound who slept through all of it. Definately need to call a taxidermist about that one. Please stuff with mouth open... dribble glands optional... Bared teeth essential.

Probably would be more useful as a draft excluder. I am struggling to find any other use for it apart from shoe and waste disposal unit.



Thinks like this always seem to bring a variety of people out of the wood work I think... you pop a post on Facebook telling people to text you their numbers and you get an ex BF from 5 years ago text you to see what you've been up to. Termites

your actual BF who has decided he wants to take the text back doesn't even remember 3 days after that you have been burgled and typically wants to "take things slow" what does that even mean?! sexual favors at his conveniance? but won't stay with you after your house has been invaded... sounds like a fair deal to me?!?!

... think about the free food and a night out once a week... oh no wait, I could do that with the ex from 5 years ago... 

so my point is as always. "in this situation.. What's actually in it for me!?"

a little weird and glum today. lacking in humour as the world seems to be humouring me instead.

I'm going to pop all of this in my bothered box and go from there. :O Oh look!! it's Empty!

Marvellous :)

in other news....

Who said helping hounds at battersea was a good idea?!

Dotty Dawgs has gone on holiday up north.... along with the Saint... Permenant holiday I might add, and no; I didn't kill them in a drunken brawl!

so much for "sausage!" should have got a smaller one!

Dawg is a very special battersea special. He has a massive head... with massive teeth. Perfect for munching your way through kitchen doors... couches... bottles of coke.

I've finally got him over hording the entire house in his bed. however his fetish with Left shoes is proving to be costly! Little Trout has already stopped speaking to him on numerous occasions.



In other news, the Daughter of the vacume packed pork hock living next door has produced a piglet courtesy of the Sausage belonging to the Boyfriend who keeps parking behind my driveway so I can't get out and no-one else can get in!!

PARK ON YOUR OWN FRIGGING DRIVE!!!!!!

Dawg is definately quieter than their micro pig!

Over and trout
>))))>

The white Horse

*text from trout*

"I've just seen a massive white horse painted on a hill. What is that about?!"

urrrr the Uffington White horse... been there about a million years....

*text from trout*

"Is it??? I'm so uncultured! Check you out Troutie!!"

*beep*

"I thought it was a myth like crop circles. Just seen some real horses tho wooo."

*beep*

"Troutie... can we get this micro pig please?

can he come and live in pets corner?"


She has given up with lifts with Barnold, apart from to get to the train station, and has then taken the train as the safer, more educational option.