blogging, is it really a load of Carp?

Friday, 18 January 2013

Civilisation as we know it ENDS... The White Stuff


Suddenly no-one can drive, walk, work or anything... thank GOD the petrol station is still open selling cider.

Ironic how the people who were supposed to have originated from a hot country (but have realistically never seen it) can still manage to function and the rest of us can’t!

Yes I'm sure there is quite a lot of white fluffy stuff falling from the sky and lying on the ground, but in all seriousness, no-one is going to die except a few old people who have forgotten to turn the heating on and people in BMW's... a loss to society!? 
I THINK NOT!

The world is not enough, we must also cover it in white/ grey mush. I have to say that the effects of “global warming” are kind of ironic don’t you think?

Little Ice Age… I’m wondering what I’d like to be killed off in this one;

·        Snails- a pointless animal if ever I saw one, they are only good for creating future fossils anyway.
·        Jelly Fish – Do they even have a purpose but to create humour as people piss on themselves!? Ok so maybe they can stay.. that is pretty hilarical!
·        Rats- Even the super rats in Henley won’t be immune to an ice age!!

Frozen Cider
>))>

Trout

Thursday, 17 January 2013

Only as old as the Man you feel?!


Try telling that to my stamina and aching bones!


Having reached the big 30 I actually thought that in comparison to most I was pretty fit… I live an outdoors lifestyle, I do a lot of sports; all be it that I sit in the office for 8 hours a day doing absolutely nothing…
(That’s physically and mentally)

However recently it has come to my attention due to a young man who has re-entered my life that I have in fact been LYING to myself.

My middle age spread (that I anticipate will be in full flow (towards my knees) by the time I’m 40) is in fact getting slightly flabby although it hides it well, there really is nothing underneath to support it! That is what I like to call inevitability.

I’m not one of these to worry about weight or January Diets.. or anytime of the year really.
Diets are a waste of time and energy - exercise and stop eating Haribo!

A little tone to the “muscles” and more than 5 seconds of energy is definitely going to come in handy though otherwise I will have had a heart attack before my middle aged spread fully kicks in!
Could this be a good thing!?

While sipping coffee at the AARP convention, Dr. Ruth advised seniors to experiment with new ways of intimacy, telling the crowd that orgasms are good. Masturbation is good. “Read about sex, enjoy intimacy, buy a good vibrator.”
                                    
So are you as old as the Man you feel?!
No but they are still pretty damn good, so go for it anyway!!!
You only live once and you might as well drown trying >)))>

Older but still Trout