Customers....

Somehow, it doesn't matter what your trade is, customers are the bane of your life!!

I've done a fair amount in my life and customers always some fishy tail as to why they should have their Meal refunded in a restaurant, or the sign I put up last week on the freeway fell over and crushed a truck causing a 10 car pileup, and it is all my fault so I need to fix it for free.

FREE BEE’S, seriously I’ll set my bee’s on you in a minute, and no when you go into anaphylactic shock I will not be there to assist… it’s a chargeable service and I can guarantee you won’t pay it or will be pissed off with the fact I stuck the needle in your eye not your arse.

When I start a charity you’ll be the first person I notify.

Fintastic Scales <(((((< 

– support the children with their Drama society in Nigeria.

YES HONESTLY it is a real charity… here are my bank details, please transfer your life savings here:

12345678

12-34-56

(if anyone actually does this you may be paying a total random… please do not be a dumb arse and make them rich and then call me because the customer service at your bank is carp I have had enough of people whining today)

Speaking of Customer Services… now those people have the patience of a saint…

Man:   “I want to return these shoes…”

Rep:   “why is that sir?”

Man:   “Well I thought these heals were a size 10, but they      don’t fit!”

Rep:   “yes sir they are a woman’s size 10”

Man:   “I’m a man, and they were falsely advertised I want a refund”

Who couldn't have cracked up at that?!?!?

I’m a relatively patient person, but next time I will make sure I have hung up before I announce EXACTLY what I think of the person at the other end… WHAT A WANKER!!!

Customer: “Well; why don’t you say how you really feel?!”

Trout out

>))):>

(that’s a flat fish)

10 things I hate about Christmas

Christmas comes at the same time every year to bring doom and gloom into peoples lives "it's all about giving" which basically means that people wonder why they have nothing?!

BECAUSE IT'S ABOUT GIVING NOT TAKING YOU CRETIN.

None the less, through all of that giving, there are more deaths as the cold weather creeps in and the government don't give old people enough in their pensions so that they can put heating on (or they've forgotten because they really should have been dead years before) so they freeze to death in their ancient armchairs

I hate Christmas because:

1. People put tree's up and play Christmas songs in NOVEMBER.... you know who you are (McSchmazel)
2. You wear a Red Coat "oooo aren't you getting all festive!!" No I'm bloody not, the coat I liked happened to be in Red so I purchased it.
3. That bloody coke advert.
4. The thought of Toenail buying a party dress for the festivities... just put tinsel on a tent, it'll be much cheaper and you'll still be a Munter.
5. The talk of Snow and having a White Christmas...
   A. Realistically its only the coke heads that will enjoy that one... and I'm not referring to the advert.
   B. Snow is not a good thing, supermarkets are emptied from Morons "stock pilling" food and everybody forgets that they know how to drive.
6. Eggnog .. What the fcuk is it anyway.... all I can picture is Jackass and the amount of sick that was spewed when they tried to eat millions of hard boiled eggs... in fact I can smell the result


7. The festive real tree fake tree argument! WHO CARES!??!
8. Police being everywhere and people forgetting how to drive.
9. Holly. It's just a violent tree that isn't a Christmas tree.
10.The justification of behaving like a total COCK because you are "just a big kid and it's Christmas!"
DO ONE!

Christmas Fishes to you all...

Drinking Mulled Wine.

Trout
>)))))>

I've already forgotten

It's been 6 months since my last confession...

So, it has arrived; I'm nearly 30.

A few people I know have already hit 30 and have said "its not too bad, but I can't remember much of it" which bodes well really for early onset of Oldtimers!

With old age mixed with a light infusion of cider, I'm pretty sure I can filter my brian to forget how to count.

Having said that, I'm pretty glad that I'm not still 20 these days. 

20 year olds:

• already feel old when they go out clubbing surrounded by 14 year olds!
• already look like Mutton dressed as Lamb
• probably haven't seen their own face for at least a decade due to the amount of makeup worn

I am beyond feeling old and under-dressed (with the preference obviously already being a lovely warm woolly cardigan curled up on the couch with a can of Strongbow, my favorite book and my reading glasses (where did I put those again?))and make up is something I frequently leave the house without having forgotten to put it on!!

Here's to being ancient and to having an excuse not to remember things!!

Amen

Trout <((((<